Monday night, in Coles, looking for chocolate buying masses of fresh vegetables. Mobile rings.

“Hello?” (juggling apples, bananas, handbag and basket).

“Mum, the MOTH has had a car accident” says 15 year old son.

“Whaaaaat?” Drop basket to floor, tipping over and leaving chocolate fresh vegetables scattered. Trip over mess.

*Shit, are they going to make me bring a bucket to Aisle 1 - I really don’t have time for that?*

“He’s OK though - he says you need to call a tow”

“Right - no worries - talk to you soon”

*am impressed by “I really AM calm“tone - as not calm at all really*

Sure. A tow. Huh? I’ve never called a tow in my life. How does one do that exactly? Leave the chocolates vegetables where they are and run.

*run home - after purchasing cigarettes before leaving. Priorities people, priorities.*

Ahh, insurance. Find papers amongst crap that should have been filed months ago.

*rustle through study hurling papers all over any available space*

After trolling through 47 different menu options on phone before finding a human, insurance company organise tow.

*deep breath*

Find MOTH in the dark by the side of the road. Am short sighted and have shocking night vision, could pick up anyone and not realise until home. Interesting thought…

*find glasses and damn well wear them for once to find correct husband and avoid embarrassing scene*

Husband located. Identified as much calmer than me. Car is on tow truck looking sadder than me.
Rush to MOTH to check a) glasses are correct and that is indeed the MOTH, then b) relax ‘cos he’s definitely alright.

MOTH moves closer, get ready for big hugs, the ‘thank you for rescuing me’s, the gratitude, appreciation of heroic wife….MOTH turns and whispers “You really need to get new glasses - they’re SO, so, sort of …eighties….and dorky”

Wtf?????? Like really…WTF???

We have only been in this house a little over two years and all was fine, until a week or so ago when I heard noises coming from the ceiling. The husband was away at his mums for a couple of days, so “Ignore it” I told myself. “Whatever it is will be dead from starvation and the noise will stop.”

I think I was on the right track there, but turns out that whatever it was that was trespassing inside our house had invited several friends and relatives over to it’s new pad for some “housewarming, man!” and some “getting down” and some “part on dudes!”, and one thing must have led to another, until, well, in a few days the noise increased to the point where I could actually feel the ceiling caving in, the walls being systematically eaten away, and small teeth nibbling at my toes in the dark of night. I was sure whoever it was, was up there starting a family, and practising sustainable living, and growing their own food and apparently living the good life, because how else can they have survived? And now it really freaks me a little. Or is that a lot? Yeah, actually, it’s a lot.

Because…what if the party animals from our ceiling manage to get inside the house where we are, and warm themselves at the foot of our bed at night, sleep in our shoes, dance on our bench tops, slide across our timber floor doing the Tom Cruise scene from Risky Business, and generally, just do mousy things in the dead of night?

It’s time the MOTH (Man of the House) buys the Ratsak, spreads it about liberally, and shows those critters who is boss. I’m all for letting them go outside so they can “be wild and free”, but at this point, I think all it will do is make them “wild and free” enough to get back up in our ceiling, and party on. Again. *shudder*.

How have you gotten rid of mices, mouses and other invited guests in the past?

*Edit: And please bear with me for being SO DAMN FREAKIN’ slow at getting around everyone’s blogs. I’m getting that google reader thingy happening…slowly. So umm…yeah, I will get there. Eventually.

So, since I have last had a blog, much has happened in blog land. I think I may spend my weekend researching burning questions like:

1. What are Twitters, are they noisy and do they require feeding?
2. Is Technorati a new kind of pasta?
3. Will an Entrecard get me into hot nightclubs - or is it just an appertif before something bigger?
4. How to get my Flickr stuff on here?
5. What do I want for some kind of banner/logo thingie? And am I prepared to wrestle for hours with Photoshop until it looks the way I want?
6. What the hell have I gotten myself into?
7. Over there —–> in the sidebar, why is one of my tag thingies really, really HUGE, and the other one isn’t?

I think it’s also pretty obvious I haven’t started my organised bulk writing yet, as all I seem to mention is blogging, so anyone reading here will just have to put up with a little drivel until the fog in my head clears. I’m working it people, honest! It’s just going to be a slow ride, and it could get messy.

To avoid as much bloodshed as possible, any advice on where to start would be much appreciated.

I have had a blog before, and find myself running across the same problem now as I had then. Posting daily or regularly. I work fulltime, have the family and the dog - and all the associated activities associated with everyone wanting a piece of my time, so when I read this post by Ben Barden, I found the solution to my problems - bulk writing!

The plan is to take some time on the weekends to get at least the bare bones ideas for 5 or 6 posts organised, work on them over a couple of days or so, then have them ready to publish. I have a lot of things in my head, but I sometimes find it hard to get them into cohesive posts - it takes time. Maybe it will become easier again, I certainly hope so - but for now, Ben’s idea is my salvation.

Is this what you all do (if anyone’s out there?), or can you suggest anything else for me?

P.S. Does anyone know if I can import all my old posts from my old blog into this one? It was also a Wordpress blog - but obviously an older version.

We built this place 2 years ago, and because the builder charged more to paint the house if you wanted coloured walls *gasp*, we went for a sort of pottery colour all the way through as we knew we’d change it.

I look at sites like Lori’s and wish I was the creative decorating type, instead of the “oh I dunno, does that look OK I really have no clue” type. I want to have more money to spend on things. Things that make your place your own. Stuff I like. Nice objects on my walls, vases, shelves for interesting bits and pieces…though I wonder, when you have all that stuff, how do you dust it all and prevent it from eventually turning into what looks like a mound of dust on your shelf? Especially when you loathe housework with a passion.

Still, having tackled the two teenage boys rooms (ones blue and ones an awesome sea blue, aqua colour), and the lounge room (dark moss green)I want to do our bedroom, because it’s bland and awful. Old doona cover, boring walls, totally insipid. I want a beautiful bedroom. Somewhere that looks relaxing and peaceful. Somewhere conducive to sleep. Somewhere that’s not too girly that it frightens the husband off to the spare room where the vacuum cleaner lives. Why the vacuum cleaner is relevant, I have NO idea…