I am not functioning on a very high level. I want to cry. I want to stay in bed and have the world go away. I don’t want my life. I feel dead. I am tired. I ache and I can’t concentrate. I became teary before because the phone rang - I don’t want to talk to anyone.
Don’t get me wrong. I love my family immensely - I would die for any of them in a heartbeat. I love my house. My job is OK. There are many lives worse than mine.
Which is why I feel so stupid. I have to write it here, because I don’t know how to discuss it with anyone. Am I just being silly? Do I need to do some serious sock pulling up and damn well stop moping and get on with things? I hate being like this, but it happens from time to time.
My mother had a nervous breakdown at my age. Her brother (my uncle) had one too. It makes me somewhat nervous.
So what to do…
What to do indeed.
4 Comments so far
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Don’t be hard on yourself for feeling the way you do. I used to be of the “get over it and get on with things” school, but I’m beginning to realise that this isn’t always possible. Even if you don’t feel like talking to anyone, verbalising the way you feel can sometimes make you feel better. Sometimes it doesn’t and you need to seek help. Don’t be afraid to do that if that’s what you need.
By Journeyer on 05.06.08 11:41 am | Permalink
Sounds like you need to pamper yourself - it doesn’t have to be major. I think writing it down helps get through it. You’ve acknowledged that’s how you feel and it can only get better. Try not to dwell on other family members and their problems if you can though.
By jen on 05.06.08 9:34 pm | Permalink
Well, thank you to you both :)Hopefully things will improve from now on.
By Suze on 05.06.08 10:05 pm | Permalink
Hugs. I know what it’s like always trying to run from that black dog. I feel for you.
By tiff on 05.07.08 8:30 pm | Permalink
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