Never, ever send me an email chain letter.
Like, N-E-V-E-R! My MIL sends me heaps. I let her. I’m not rude. To her.
But I hate those fucking, inane things. With a passion. And I don’t pass them on to anyone - except the recycle bin.
Am I wracked with guilt because I didn’t forward 36 thousand damn chain letters claiming to save a pygmy woman in Botswana from certain death from a large mole strangling her nose and mouth? Nope.
How the hell, is this condition going to be fixed if I, yes I, forward a pissy little email consisting of a wee bit of text, to 50 unsuspecting friends of mine, who trusted me innocently enough, with their email addresses? Does email have some surgical powers so that a piece of the pygmy womans mole disappears every time someone hits the send button? Oh Puh-lease!
And, do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give $1000 to you, and everyone you send ‘his’ email? Good god - have people no fucking brains what-so-ever?
I guess not.
Email me with something amusing, by all means. But don’t email this pathetic begging crap that just royally pisses me off because you’re believing in the pygmy and her mole and that makes you stupid, and I don’t care about the pygmy, let alone believe in her, and that makes me a ….. bad person…, and you make my inbox overflow, and I have better things to do than trawl through all the emails containing information about every afflicted person real or not on the bloody planet, just to find the ones that are actually entertaining or amusing.
I don’t want to know about the ‘nice’ ones either. The “Send this to 5 important women in your life” garbage. Newsflash! A stupid email with a picture of a rose in it, does NOT make me feel important. I don’t see how it makes anyone feel important. Real friends, important people, make you feel important because they talk to you in person (OMG what the hell is that - in person?), they take your kids for a couple of hours when you are ill, they sit and listen when you need to vent, they don’t bombard you with worthless emails that have been through 45 million other in boxes before yours.
Why do people forward that crap? To show off how many other people they have as contacts? See, my email is busy, I am not only l33t, but popular as well! See, just like I have 263,543,578,209,57 friends on Facebook. I am da bomb! Do I know them in real life? Well no, but they are my FRIENDS!!!!!
Give me a fucking break.
Think about what you’re actually doing by sending out this inane crap. Chances are, you drive other people nuts. Or maybe just me. Because I hate you for being annoying. And stupid. And filling my inbox with crap. Because that’s all these emails are. Go here and you’ll find none of them are new, they’ve all been circulating around on the net for years in one form or another.
And for god’s sake. Learn what BCC is. Stop throwing everyone else’s email addresses around to eleventy hundred other people like it doesn’t matter.
I dump all chain letters in my bin, and pat myself on the back, puff out my chest secure in the knowledge I have kept the information superhighway free of a few more bytes of worthless crap.
Now forward this post to everyone you know. If you don’t?
You will surely die and have no friends or sex or the rest of your life. Also, if you do forward it. Then you will have good fortune forever.
Yeah right.
Do you like them, or hate them?
11 Comments so far
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Amen sister. I am right there with you. Funny ones are fine, unless I’ve seen them a bajillion times. But as soon as “Forward this to — people” appears, I’m out.
Same Missy - why the hell do people do it?
By Missy on 05.27.08 3:44 pm | Permalink
My MIL sends me heaps of crappy joke emails *sigh*
My mother sends me everything else..the irish luck fairy, the angel ones, *sigh* and lots of the others that really work..
cheers kim
Kim - what the hell is it with the MILs? Mine sent me 27 in one day once. I love her dearly, but hate her for that…
By frogpondsrock on 05.27.08 10:21 pm | Permalink
I hate chain e-mails with a passion. Dirty jokes, nude pics, and people telling me how brilliant I am are all the e-mails that I need.
Ah Evyl - I am sure you are inundated with emails praising your brilliance
By Evyl on 05.28.08 9:51 am | Permalink
Delete, delete, delete ….I’m with you, I’ve got so much bad luck owing to me I’m amazed I can still get out of bed in the morning. This is my first visit. Your blog is great:-)
Hi Joh! It’s a wonder we’re still alive and haven’t been eaten by 1,000 vicious leprechauns or something equally stupid - as apparently that’s what is supposed to happen!
By Joh on 05.28.08 9:20 pm | Permalink
LOVE the new theme! Looks great!
As to the whole send or die? What a crock of shit some of the stuff I get is. How the fuck is NOT sending something going to impact my life…what the hell did people do with their time before they found spam??? Porbably masturbated hey???
Anonymum - Ha! I dunno, you could say they are wankers for sending the crap
By anonymum on 05.28.08 11:40 pm | Permalink
loathe loathe loathe chain emails!!
Can’t seem to convince people to bcc them if they must either.
Sigh.
Time to start plotting to murder some chronic offenders in their sleep.
Bettina - see, no one likes them, but everyone gets them. So how’s that work?
By Bettina on 05.28.08 11:42 pm | Permalink
Hate….I just got one yesterday and one of those questions that you were supposed to answer was “who is least likely to respond to this is email”…my name was posted and I was very proud….
Don’t people have anything better to do?
Sarah - LOL! I love that too, being nominated as least likely to respond!
By Sarah on 05.28.08 11:48 pm | Permalink
I hate any/all forwarded chain emails. They all suck!!!
Hallie
http://wonderfulworldofweiners.blogspot.com/
Hallie - I just can’t see the purpose of them. Really. They’re lame and you’re right, they suck! Thanks for popping in, by the way!
By Hallie on 05.29.08 9:26 am | Permalink
I hate them! Hate hate hate them!
Veronica: Haha - I feel like sending you some!
By Veronica on 05.29.08 11:51 am | Permalink
I hate the ones that foretell gloom and doom if you don’t forward to 5 friends in 20secs etc etc … delete.
I hate the forwards that are not sent BCC and those >>>>>> and message half off the page.
Trish: Hence why I think I should be dead several times over by now for deleting so many of the damn things
By Trish on 05.29.08 7:05 pm | Permalink
Ahhh but do you class memes as a form of chain email?
Sometimes the guilt can feel the same.
All the same at least you’re not being threatened with eternal bad luck if you don’t participate… and Johnny won’t die.
I’m with you - chain email sucks and I’ve been known to write back to the sender saying thanks but no thanks.
Cellobella: Memes bug me a little, too. I mean, if you get tagged and don’t want to do it, do you look like a bit of a jerk? If I do one, it’s because it amuses me and I think it might amuse others, but I generally don’t tag people to do it in case they don’t want to. And yes, at least there is no ‘curse of a thousand locusts’ on someone that doesn’t participate. Then again, maybe I am just a grumpy, anti-social cow, which is very likely
S
By Cellobella on 06.01.08 2:58 pm | Permalink
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