So my son, Spawn the Elder, has had an emotional week or two. As have I. There is nothing quite like having your teenage son literally crying on your lap, well half on your lap because he is over 6′2″ tall and I am 5′3″, despairing anything good is ever going to happen in his life.
Maybe it’s my Irish ancestry. Being born in Belfast, perhaps I have inherited that melancholy Irish heritage and passed it on. I am partial to a nice potato…
Anyways, thank you to everyone that expressed concern for him. It was greatly appreciated (by me at least, as he’d be horrified if he thought I had posted about him).
Our school has been abso-fucking-lutely brilliant. His year coordinator talked to me for ages, the vice principal called, all his teachers were advised of the situation within a couple of hours, and he was made a priority booking with the school counselor (the spawn that is, not the vice principal), and then was quickly booked into see our GP.
So the boy has talked his head off to a few people, and the general consensus is that he isn’t suffering from depression, but that he needs to work on a few coping skills. He has issues with some of the kids at school because he is more mature than the average 16 year old. Therefore, he can’t be bothered with the crap they spout, and although this isn’t a bad thing, it can serve to make him feel left out and thinking there is something wrong with him. As opposed to just recognising that some of the guys at school are nothing more than raving dickheads. As most 16 year olds are.
He is feeling much brighter however, and needless to say the stronger smell of teen spirit is like nirvana to me (heh, pardon the pun).
I’m telling you folks, this parenting gig gets exponentially harder when they are teenagers.
It sucks, and although I love my boys to pieces, and they don’t get into any trouble, do pretty well at school, have awesome senses of humour, and are generally pretty decent to hang around with….at the moment, I’d give it up in a heartbeat to be back when they were 1 and 3 rather than 14 and 16, because that era? Was a piece of cake compared to this shit.
What would you prefer, or think you would prefer? Toddler hell, or teenage angst??
Also, while we were going through this, I did a bit of research into depression in kids, and uncovered quite a lot of info. I’m thinking of doing a post covering it all in case anyone else is ambushed like me.
Do you think that would be useful??
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Wow, you and spawn have an awesome support network through the school.
I wish that Spawn was the norm in teenage boys, unlike those I deal with!
I have survived toddler-dom, moving into the school-mum and hoping that it remains kind of user friendly. It would be great to have a go-to list of useful info (and then hope that Murhy’s Law kicks in and because I have info, I won’t need it).
Del: The school are awesome - and a public school too *shock*. Actually, I’m not shocked, others may be though.
He’s rather cool in so many ways. So much better than the crap spouting idiots you see around shopping centres. But I AM biased. Indeed.
S
By Del on 06.24.08 2:25 pm | Permalink
I would take toddlerhood over teenage angst any day, Suze Any. Day.
Tiff: I’m right with you on that one. Teenage angst sucks for everyone.
S
By tiff on 06.24.08 10:25 pm | Permalink
heck yes that would be a great post - oh, and a girlfriend of mine once said “the definition of hell is toddlers and teenagers in the same household.”
Jeanie: I can’t imaging what it would be like to throw a couple of toddlers into the mix! Hell on earth, maybe?
By jeanie on 06.25.08 6:32 am | Permalink
Useful, yes.
You’re a good parent. Damn good parent.
Red: I only do what most of us do. Try.
By Red on 06.25.08 2:43 pm | Permalink
Poor bloke - I can identify - I am crying all the time and I’m 42 - geez I hope he gets over it by the time he gets to my age!!
It is hard being a sensitive man - the world can be cruel.
Tex: Ahhh but sensitive men are sexy
Ummm, not that I find my son sexy, but you know what I mean. I hope 
S
By TEX on 06.25.08 7:23 pm | Permalink
This is my first time visiting your blog (found ya through Sarcastic Mom) and I don’t know the history of what your son is going through, but it sounds like you are handling it beautifully. You gave him space to fall apart and you took action to get him the support he needs.
It seems like when our kids are young it’s more about getting physical help - like hiring a babysitter so you can take a break. And when they are teens it’s more about getting emotional help - having people to lean on, talk to, receive uplifting support from…for both parent and teen. The emotional stuff does tend to be harder to deal with. I guess it really reinforces the whole idea of “it takes a village!”
Hang in there :~)
Cassandra: The “it takes a village” thing is very apt. And yes, emotional stuff is very difficult, because we never REALLY know how someone else feels, just how they SAY they feel. Still, we’re soldering on!
S
By Cassandra Rae on 06.26.08 1:26 am | Permalink
I would love to see research around the topic of teenaged depression because one of the foster kids I work with exhibits signs of it from time to time. Sometimes I get scared enough by his behavior that I contemplate recommending that he go back on antidepressants and then I get freaked out by the increased (supposedly) risk of suicide among teens on antidepressants. I don’t know what the right answer is so right now I’m just upping the love coefficient and hugging him tightly whenever he’ll let me.
Denise: I don’t know how much help I would be to you as my stuff is mostly Australian based, but hey, anything is helpful, right? Even knowing you aren’t the only one can be good.
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By Denise on 06.26.08 3:43 am | Permalink
I’m dreading the teen years. Not so much with my son, but definitely with my daughter. She’s nine and already has an attitude.
I think posting about depression is always helpful. It affects so many people.
Momo Fali: Hmmm, I think daughters would be a whole different kettle of fish. Still, it’s hard for boys when there’s still that thing where they should be seen to be tough, real men and all that shit. And if you’re a slightly sensitive soul like my two? It’s hard…
S
By Momo Fali on 06.26.08 3:55 am | Permalink
I would like to read your post about teen depression..I dont have a lot of words at the moment as my brain is frozen.hopefully I will be better soon ..
Kim: Ewww yes, how’d the dentist go?
S
By frogpondsrock on 06.26.08 10:33 pm | Permalink
The often main difference between a toddler and a teenager is hight…sigh.
Carol: Yep, that just about sums it up!
S
By carol on 06.28.08 8:59 am | Permalink
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