1. I am awkward. I will probably at least break a wine glass or trip over one of your kids. The chances of me walking into a wall are ridiculously high, no matter how well I know the layout of your house. I walk into our study wall all the time.

2. I’m an only child. Do I need to say more? I can be selfish, but if it bothers you, there’s a chance I may not care because duh, I’m selfish.

3. I’m inclined to be moody. If I’m in a bad mood, I won’t want to talk to you much. Just leave me be, I’ll be fine in a short while if left alone. If you don’t leave me alone, I may shout obscenities at you. Probably not, but it sounded good.

4. I’m slow to make friends. So I’m shy. Deal.

5. Chronically lazy. What it says. I don’t want to do house work and I probably won’t be bothered to come over to your place if it’s pretty cold out. In fact, if it wasn’t for work, I may never leave the house in winter.

6. I may will drink all your red wine (or your white wine, and definitely your Baileys).

7. I can say really stupid things. Not because I’m stupid, but because I don’t think before I speak.

8. I’ll promise I’ll do things for you, them promptly forget I said anything. Or who you are. I am very forgetful. I had forgotten I had this blog for the past few days.

9. I’m a smoker. Yes, a social leper. And while I would never smoke near children (particularly in a car), and do not smoke in my house, and respect your right to have a meal smoke free, I still like a good fag. Or 10.

10. I can’t stand shopping centres. Or malls. Or whatever the hell you want to call the damn things. They’re crowded, full of people I don’t want to know, and crap I don’t want to buy. I suffer them occasionally if I have to, but don’t ask me to come shopping with you every weekend, becasue you’ll be going alone.

11. I’m insecure. According to one therapist type person I spoke to once, this stems from “the frightened child” within me, that saw my dad beating up on my mum years ago. Therefore, I loathe confrontation as that child is afraid. Whatever.

12. If you have an excuse for everything, and can’t accept you just plain fucked up sometimes, I’ll have no patience. I am totally sick of this “blame someone else mentality” that is so prevalent today. Suck it up, take responsibility, learn something and move along.

13. I hate crowds. They freak me out. In a claustrophobic, “get me the hell out of here” kind of way. Maybe that’s connected to the shopping centre thing.

14. I hate, loathe and detest reality TV. Seriously, you can take your lowest common denominator dross Big Brother and shove it. If I wanted to watch a bunch of loons sitting around on the couch doing nothing I can just walk into my lounge room. Hate it that show, hate it, hate it. And mostly all other reality TV shows. Dancing with the Dickheads, Australia’s Got No Talent - they all drive me insane. There are some exceptions though - The Biggest Loser, anything with Gordon Ramsey in it, and this show on SBS at the moment The Nest which is about some 20 somethings living out of home for the first time.

15. I’m a slack blogger. There’s a surprise for you all.

What would I hate about you? Or are you perfect?